Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Pointless

Your babbler just has one of those days where he wonders what the point is. Invisible, plodding, ugly, ridiculous. Knowing that's irrational and not caring because he feels it, that the cool kids laughed then and laugh now. Useful, maybe, to others for chores, or the job, or a bit of sympathy or witless wit, but nothing really else. Not interesting, not attractive, which means both the looks and that people want to be with you. And wondering how in control his feelings really are. Alarmingly Attractive Twitter Woman didn't respond to him on IG, which makes him sad in ways that make no sense if he isn't really interested in her. So, in addition to every other lamentable quality, add poor self-control and self-delusion. Maybe being the dork on the outside always looking in, nose pressed against the window, was his natural condition, and it was pointless to try for anything else. Pointless.

Self-loathingly,

The Self-Deluder

PS Twitter crush politely trying to ditch me, Twitter friends making a big panicky show. Clusterfucked. Un-unscrewable pooch. Did it again.

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